Good Morning Sunshine

I'm right between opening at the news station and going off to work a funeral. Sometimes it strikes me just how odd my life is. 
Did a little shopping over the weekend and picked up some summery stuff at H&M. And a not really summery but pretty vintage peplum top in polka dots. Now, maybe it's just me but I have a really hard time bringing together a strong red outfit without feeling super cliche vintage. For some reason, red and black just is too rockabilly for me and not in a good way. So, I've developed some rules for wearing red and not looking like a reject from model mayhem. 


#1- As often as possible, avoid bright lipstick red. Darker brick shades and warmer orange tones keep me from feeling costumey.


#2- Keep it demure. Wiggle dresses and cleavage, while fun, are too much for me in red.



#3- More modern hair helps keep the overall look more natural and less like I'm trying to look "vintage"

Forgive the blurry photos. I've been flirting pretty hard with the idea of getting a new camera.

Socks: Not just for Feet Anymore

In my seemingly never ending quest for curly hair, I took another shot at the sock bun technique the other night. I had tried it before with disappointing results- mainly because my hair was just too short for the sock to curl correctly. Well, 3 inches and a few months later and I'm very pleased with the turnout.

Of course, it ended up raining yesterday so the curls were short lived but they were great while the lasted. The sock bun trick came from this adorable gal on youtube who has a few other neat hair videos.

How to Be a Lady and Still Have Sex

(Ok so maybe in addition to the "sorry I haven't posted for 3 weeks" tag, it would probably behoove me to add an "I'm Sick" tag. Because frankly, I'm getting sick of prefacing all these posts with the words "I'm Sick". This is not a great way to start off a New Year- it's also not a great sign for the state of my immune system. But it does tie into the main point of the post and I'll get back to it in just a few)


So, for Eeks second to last day in town, I dragged her and CJ around on a semi-fruitful sex toy quest. Because being my friend means you have to traipse around the city with me while I try to find a new vibrator. Yes, that was vibrator. I own and use vibrators. My current one got me through a two year dry spell and even now that I'm having sex with real live men on a regular basis, I still hold a special special place in my heart for those buzzy little things. And for handcuffs. And riding crops....  I may dress like a prude librarian but my conservativeness drops off like an old coat when I walk into the bedroom. I like sex, both socially and solitarily. Does that admission make me less of a Lady? 
Never in life!
The core foundation of being a Lady is confidence and grace. And nothing is more confident than a gal who knows just what she likes. Few things more graceful then the languor of a woman after she's had a great orgasm.


Oh, got off on a little rant there! Anyway, back to the shopping tale....
Now, while I'm no novice to the whole wide world of sexual aids, as I stood in the back room of The Crypt- staring wide-eyed at the array of silicone, black rubber, inject molded treats- I realized I've still got a lot to learn. 
And you know whats sad?
Who's gonna teach me?


It's a sorry fact that after a 3 month class about condoms and the life path of a sperm in 8th grade, you're set off into the world with a pat on the back and a "Good luck- the rest you'll learn through trial and error!" 
Don't get me wrong- I believe with sex as with most things that experience is the best form of learning. But come on! Knowledge is power kids and you don't want to rush the field of battle without some heavy ammunition. And here we are, making that circular trek back to the opening of my post- I've spent the last two days in bed trying to get over this flu or cold or whatever it is. And most of that time has been spent online, pursuing the internet offerings of sex. I'm not talking about porn- no nothing so simple. Just what is out there for the folks who don't merely want to get off- the ones who want to know why they get off and how and better ways to do it.


What did I find? A whole lotta junk and a sweet shining star of sexual knowledge.
I found the Sex Nerd! 
Witty, matter of fact and a looker to boot. I adore this girl and want her to be my new best friend. If there were more people who embraced sex the way she does, life would be all orgasms and chocolate unicorns.

Pink Foam Rollers: or The Progression of Hair

Remember when you first started dressing in vintage? 
The hours spent online- combing youtube for pincurl tutorials, nearly crying when Nocturne's website, that mecca of beginner vintage hairstyling, went down, painstakingly rolling your hair for hours into little 1 inch sculptured pincurls?




And now, if you're anything like me, you can hardly be bothered to put your hair up in a bun, much less do a full wet set. My current go-to styles of ponytails and quick hot rollers are a sharp contrast to my earlier days of victory rolls and nightly pincurling. I can blame some of it on the fact that my hair was much shorter back then and wet sets were less of an ordeal. But honestly, I'm lazy and busy and no longer have the will to put in the time for full sets unless I have a special event. 


Well, if you remember, I did have an event over the weekend, an invite to The New Boy's holiday work party. And the night before, I found myself busting out my pink foam rollers for the first time in months. It was just like I remembered, difficult to sleep in and the look is still more crazy lady then Rosie the Riveter when I scarfed up the next morning.


But the effort was worth the results- the authentic look you get from a wet set just can't be duplicated with a curling iron. 

 Another drawback of rolling your hair- being stuck in the house half a night and all the next day. Because really, the public doesn't want to see this.

 Here we have that stage known in the vintage circles as Poodle Hair, Shirley Temple on Crack or "Oh, Dear God- what have I done?"

Ah, but you see, with a little faith and about 20 minutes of brushing, poodle hair of doom calms down and turns into lovely 40's glamour waves. Now if only I could figure out the secret to keeping this look all night, I would be the happiest little vintage-wearing gal on the block. Until then...

On Being Ladylike

As you may know, I'm a big fan of the Art Of Manliness Blog. I love that there is a consolidated guide for the guy that wants to hit that ideal between gent and man. They've got a little bit on knowledge on any subject: how to shop for socks, dating tips, how to bald gracefully! I think every and any man ought to consult the AoM blog once and a while.

Unfortunately, there isn't much of a female counterpart available. Sure, you can find a few scattered posts about how girls nowadays are little tramps and we should all be more like Grace Kelly. The problem is most of those posts revolve around what women ought not be doing as oppose to what we ought to. They end up sounding negative and catty rather then helpful.

Being a lady isn't about what you can't do!

You wanna drink? Go ahead!

You like sex? Have it!

Smoke and debate and play tackle football and wear jeans and eat sloppy joes if you have a mind to. The trick to doing anything and everything is to do it with a little tact and a little class.

That's what makes a Lady.

So, here's a little help for the gal that wants to be a Lady and also wants to express herself colorfully-

The Guide to Classy Cursing

I swear often. In casual conversation. I enjoy the punch curse words pack. I have always tried to converse so that my full meaning and intent is understood through my words. And in that swears are very handy.

Ladies can curse in such a way that it actually makes them more charming.

Conserve you curse words, use them sparingly. The rarity of your vulgar speech will give it more emphases. (This rule I just can't follow- though I'm working on it)

Use unexpected and novel curses. Lets face it- Fuck is boring. It's overused and trite. Look to the past (Whoreson, Damnable Ass)  or try other languages (Scheisse, Testa di Cazzo) for new and insulting swears.

Don't shy away from explicit swears- there's no sense in pulling your punch. My favorite go-to swear is Cunt. Give it a whirl, you'll make quite an impression. Get lengthy- Bastard cocksucking piece of shit or Sweet bleeding Christ on the Cross.

Use curses when referencing situations rather then people. Let's be honest- no one like to be cursed at. While it is sometimes justifiable, it's still rude.

Whether you  swear out of anger or as simply a discussion enlivening interjection, follow it up with a smile. Every time. This helps to show that despite the wretched phrase that just escaped your mouth, you're still genial and sweet.

Go forth and curse with class!

The only way to Fly

This is it! Countdown: 1 day til New York!

Clothes, shoes and such are packed away in the giant checked suitcase and now all I have to concentrate on is my carry-ons. United airlines has new policies for carry-on as the must measure less then 45" total. So, I had to go out and fight the Christmas crazies to pick up a new case. I found a rather cute houndstooth one that fits the specs and my undying need for all my accompaniments to have a vintage feel. I'm hopeless.

Anyway, the carry-on gets all my accessories like scarves, gloves, jewelry and makeup plus a change of clothes and toiletries on the chance that the airline looses my luggage.

My other carry-on is my purse and I took a cue from the venerable Super Kawaii Mama    in regards of what to pack for the flight. She's got a wonderful Travel Essentials Post   full of helpful tips. I also used her What's in my bag? post   as a guideline for the perfectly prepared without being overstuffed purse. 

 Hand lotion, BB Pomegranate lipbalm and my cute little pillbox. Full of drugs! Kidding, just excedrin.

 My phone and ipod for in flight amusements.

 Passport, wallet and a little Thomas Pynchon.

Sunglasses and an umbrella. Cause lord know what weather will be waiting for us. Un-pictured is my camera for obvious reasons. So, that's it. Aside from running up to Golden Hill to pick-up a carton of cigarettes, I'm completely ready for my trip. Now, I wanna nap and get ready for another Christmas party which I will probably end up regretting. Happy Holidays!

ReVamp; The Art of Changing

Ok, so since my vacation started, I've been lagging on preparing for the trip. Been too preoccupied with drinks and parties and days spent recovering from drinks and parties.

But now it's countdown: 3 days and I gotta get on this shit. Washed all my laundry last night and set out the clothes I'm planning to take. Got a hair trim and found another silver hiding within my coif. Which is good for two reasons.

1. I love silver hair.

2. Loving silver hair means not dying since it will cover up lovely sliver hair.

So, the dye job I was planning to do is off which means one less item to tick off my list. And now I am currently killing time (and dealing with a flooded back room!) until the shops open so I can buy things. Suitcase and books for the plane and maybe some new makeup.

Ah, segway. Another little thing I needed to do was figure out how I was going to take along my Airspun loose powder, that time tested holy grail for vintage ladies. The best face powder on earth (and also maybe the cheapest) doesn't travel well so I decided to press it. With a little help from some makeup blogs and The Fedora Lounge, I was surprisingly easy.

 You need cosmetic powder, mixing bowl, something to press your powder into and alcohol (I used rubbing alcohol or surgical spirit) I've read use of vodkah and other drinking alcohol but why waste good liquor?

 Throw your powder in a bowl. I ended up using about half the powder in the container because once you add the alcohol, you lose a lot of volume.

 Add the alcohol a bit at a time and mix until its at a pasty consistency. At this point, I got a little nervous because the color changed so darkly. No worries, it dries back to it's original color.

 Scoop the paste into your pressing pan. I'm using my Stratton compact (with a broken mirror!) Goop it in, then wet your finger with the alcohol and use it to smooth the paste into the corners and even out the top.

It took mine overnight to dry. Halfway through, I took some scrap fabric and pressed it into the pan and applied pressure to help even out the surface. I added a little stamp of a Fleur de lis cause I'm corny.

Voila! Instant pressed compact. This works for any powder make-up and is especially helpful for eyeshadow or blushes that have busted and crumbled to dust.

Edit!

I don't know how I missed this post by Vixen Vintage but she has a tutorial for pressed powder that rocks. It looks like I just copied hers photo for photo (promise I didn't!) but her post is much prettier and more detailed then mine. Check it out!

On a jet plane...

Countdown to New York trip: 5 days!

It's been weeks since I've posted and those have been filled with many stressful happenings. Between birthdays, car trouble, expired licenses and a sexual wrench thrown into the works, there's been no time for fun vintage blogs. But now things have calmed down considerably and I've got a whole week free to post and bore you all to death.

Today's will be all about the fine line between traveling smart and staying chic. I am a notorious over packer. If I'm going on a trip, for some reason I get it in my head that a situation will come up where I will absolutely need my white petticoat (or all 3 Trashy Diva dresses. or my paper parasol.) I never do end up needing these things on the trip but it's one of my weird traveling phobias. Which leaves me trying to lug around two suitcases, a hat box, makeup bag and a purse more often then not. Well, not this year so says I.

This year I've planned ahead and developed a clever (and a bit lame) strategy for my Christmas trip this year. Rather then bring enough clothes for every day of the week I'll be gone, I'm bringing enough for 3. Rather then bring a bunch of favorite pieces that on their own look great but end up clashing, I'm going with a theme and color palette. And I made up little collages on polyvore cause if we are already at "a bit" lame, why not really swing for the fences?

As you can see, sleek and space saving. I'll be wearing onn outfit on the plane (including the jacket) so I can stick to one checked bag and one carry on. Most is from modcloth, all fit into the color scheme of blues, browns and rust. And I'm able to mix them to have a different outfit each day. Fewer clothes means more room for accessories, which is where the variety will really come in. I can bring along as many necklaces, tights and gloves as I want without taking up a lot of suitcase space.

And since I'll be there for the holidays and NYE, I want one fancy dress celebrating outfit.

I hadn't notice until right now that I've got quite a little flock of birds going on in my travel wardrobe. I must subconsciously really be into feathered friends right now.